"I don't know how you do it."
"You have so much will power, I could never be that strict."
I have been on some sort of restrictive diet for the past fifteen or so years. Whether it was vegetarian, vegan, gluten free, or now, paleo, I have dealt with a lot of foods being off limits to me in one form or another. A lot of people say things like this to me. They tell me I eat healthier than "anyone they know." Their compliments often times feel unnecessary because, I really don't feel like I have a choice anymore when it comes to what I eat.
The other night I hit a wall and I broke down. I've been dealing with my PCOS symptoms for three years now, and while I've seen success with my current diet, I'm tired. I'm tired of not being able to enjoy things like pasta or english muffins or cream cheese. I miss being a part of society in terms of food. I miss being able to go to a bakery and order anything at all without worrying if it will cause a flare up in my symptoms. Sometimes, and I know this is silly, I daydream about Justin and I going to Europe and being scared that I won't be able to eat anything at all. It's been a long, exhausting, emotional run with this problem and honestly...I'm over it.
I know many of you out there with PCOS can relate. It's an annoying issue to deal with on it's best days. On it's worst days it's all consuming. I feel so fortunate that my symptoms err on the mild side and that I really don't have to deal with as much as some ladies out there. I can look back at the last year and see my progress and see my success and it is inspiring, but sometimes you just need to feel exasperated...know what I mean? Luckily, that's when you give in and have some sweet potato chips and just feel sorry for yourself.
Anyone else out there hitting this wall? I know it's only temporary, but I'd love to hear about your experiences with getting back in the groove.